DevOps playing cards based on assumptions and stuff found online. Have fun 🃏

Hello! I’m Otto the DevOps Octopus. I mentioned DevOps in one meeting—now it’s my responsibility.

You configured Kubernetes for 20,004 minutes this year

Writing a good commit message is like documenting your crimes.

Microservices: Turning a monolith into a thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle.

DevOps is just developers who were tricked into doing Ops.

Did you know that 90% of DevOps Engineers Prefer Dark Mode?

Team GCP, Team Azure or Team AWS, your choice!!

I find that the most important button is always the smallest and hardest to find in DevOps tools.

Ready or not, here I come, you can't hide → An accidental $50,252 AWS bill.

We have logs, metrics, and traces. No idea what’s wrong, but we have data.

Best practices are just things someone got away with once.

Your infrastructure decisions are like legacy orchestration platforms - they made sense when you started, but now they're just slowing you down

Your infra docs are like a quantum particle — everywhere in theory, but never when you need them.

Everyday needs to be a Vegas blackout day

My infrastructure is in perfect shape. It’s just undocumented, fragile, and nobody understands it.

Your scaling strategy is like a private equity playbook - full of good intentions that create bottlenecks instead of breakthroughs

Your infrastructure migrations are like Azure’s payment portal – meant to be simple, but ended up needing three people and a full platform change.